FWD: shopping at Walmart
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "Craig"
To: "Greg"
Date: Wed, 31 Jan 2007 21:00:29 -0500
Subject: shopping at Walmart
This is piss your pants funny. I have tears in my eyes from laughing
> Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping.
> He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store.
>
> Dear Mrs. Fenton,
> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
> tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our
> video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.
>
> Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... and watched what happened.
>
> 5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
>
> 6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
>
> 8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
>
> 9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
>
> 10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.
>
> 11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
>
> 12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced hi "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
>
> 13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
>
> 14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams
> "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
>
> And last, but not least ....
>
> 15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the doorwaited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
From: "Craig"
To: "Greg"
Date: Wed, 31 Jan 2007 21:00:29 -0500
Subject: shopping at Walmart
This is piss your pants funny. I have tears in my eyes from laughing
> Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping.
> He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store.
>
> Dear Mrs. Fenton,
> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
> tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our
> video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.
>
> Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... and watched what happened.
>
> 5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
>
> 6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
>
> 8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
>
> 9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
>
> 10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.
>
> 11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
>
> 12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced hi "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
>
> 13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
>
> 14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams
> "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
>
> And last, but not least ....
>
> 15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the doorwaited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
posted by The Governess at 8:33 AM
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